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Fortune’s Detour is out!

Hello, all!!! How's it going? Something extraordinary has happened over here in my world. My first book, Fortune's Detour, has just been published to e-book on Amazon Kindle. It has been an intense journey getting it done, but I have learned so much throughout the entire process. Fortune's Detour originally started out as a short [...]

Hello, all!!! How’s it going?

Something extraordinary has happened over here in my world. My first book, Fortune’s Detour, has just been published to e-book on Amazon Kindle. It has been an intense journey getting it done, but I have learned so much throughout the entire process.

Fortune’s Detour originally started out as a short story, but as all those who know me know, I can never stop at just a short story. Everything has to be explored, tasted, and drawn out before I am satisfied enough with the end product to release it into the wild.

Anyway, here’s the link to read all about my new book on Amazon!

And here’s a short excerpt!

Happy reading!

(The reason most of you are reading a blog post about productivity is so you can be successful so that you can attain peace of mind, therefore I ended the post with that positive thought.) First off, let me start this by saying I don’t always do these things. I can’t even manage to get [...]

(The reason most of you are reading a blog post about productivity is so you can be successful so that you can attain peace of mind, therefore I ended the post with that positive thought.) First off, let me start this by saying I don’t always do these things. I can’t even manage to get three days in a row of doing all these things.

But I do try, and even when I don’t succeed, I benefit from the effort.
1. Time: Give yourself the gift of time by waking up earlier. (Not at 4:30 with the roosters, unless you’re into that sort of thing.) Waking up earlier gives you more time to do things and also gives you more “me-time” before work. Use this time to meditate, drink a mug of tea, read something inspirational, or just sit and stare out the window at the sleeping world. The purpose is to get in touch with yourself and your needs and to start living a lifestyle that fulfills those inner desires.

2. Move: Do more things physically- wear good shoes you can move in and get up for little reasons throughout the day, like getting up out of your chair to go grab a pen instead of reaaaaching for it across the desk. (Something I’ve been trying recently is putting my lunch out of reach so I have to stand up and walk over to the plate, take ONE bite, and go sit back down and chew while I work. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the work that I don’t finish my food so… slimming time!)

3. Dream: Feed your passions by doing what you love. Even if it’s just an art class that you attend every other month, it helps keep your inner spark alive!

4. Expand: Learn new things! Take on more responsibility at work, or if that’s out, try a personal enrichment course online or at a community college! (I’ve recently started learning French with the helpful site www.memrise.com )

5. Minimize: Reduce the clutter and nick-knacks. Having extra stuff hanging around, whether in your work space or your home, often divides your attention and sucks away your energy.

6. Gut: Trust your gut instinct when making decisions… and stick to them. This applies to anything from ordering dinner at a fancy restaurant to choosing a romantic partner. We can talk our heads into anything and we are dragged by our hearts all over the map, but the gut knows!

7. Naps: Knowing when to take naps is crucial. I’ve found that if I just take a nap because I’m kinda/sorta tired, I’ll ruin the whole day’s productivity and feel groggy for 24 hours. But if I’m mentally paralyzed and freaking out and cannot get anything done, then I lie down and close my eyes and relax. When I wake up, I find that everything looks better- the shark has shrunk back into a minnow!

Basically, what all of these numbered notes have in common is discipline. If you train yourself to get into the habit of being disciplined (which often requires a routine) you’ll find your own personal version of success. And since success means something different to everybody, don’t worry about achieving what other people want. If you are happy and confident in your lifestyle, then you have achieved what most of us long for: peace of mind.

It is WRITTEN!

Two days ago on Monday, the 25th of this August, I finally finished the full writing of my first novel... WUT WUUUT!!!! I don't need to explain to you how awesome it is!  I'm still in shock. ANYWAY- I've been digging around in my papers for the sketch I made that I'm going to use [...]

Two days ago on Monday, the 25th of this August, I finally finished the full writing of my first novel…

WUT WUUUT!!!!

I don’t need to explain to you how awesome it is!  I’m still in shock.

ANYWAY- I’ve been digging around in my papers for the sketch I made that I’m going to use as inspiration for the cover art.  But you know how it is- you dig around and don’t find what you’re seeking but you make tons of other discoveries along the way; including pictures of your best friend in preschool and to-do lists dating back years ago.  Pretty soon, you’re sitting in a pile of your own writing slag, skimming the sad, pathetic diary you kept when you were in love with that *skeggar in high school… yeah, you know who I’m talking about.  😉

So I found some crappy little poems I wrote last summer during “Anne of Avonlea” at the AD Players and felt like sharing one while I rummage through my entire office searching for the elusive “sketch of inspiration.”  I wrote them to pass the time in between scenes and also to find out if I had any talent for poetry and rhymes in general.  As you can see, the answer was NOPE.

“Backstage”

backstage

all in a tizzy

backstage

tummy’s getting fizzy

backstage

where the lights are low

backstage

it’s the real show

~

when someone misses a cue

you’ll be reminded with a boo

sometimes with a snicker

if our humors differ

 

 

Yep.  There it is.

 

*Skeggar:  A selfish, self-serving “insert derogatory term of choice here.”  The kind of person who will screw you over and use you up for their own personal gain/needs.  Usually an expletive; can be used as a friendly nickname for someone who is hot-headed, brash, or mindless of others, but only by very close friends.

A Walk In Friendship

I bend down in the cool-smelling grass and select a blade. It is smooth and soft; the evening light creates shadows upon it. It feels clean to the touch. “Come here.” I pleasantly demand, straightening up. He obeys with the delicately disinterested enjoyment of a youngest child. Not that he is my younger sibling; just [...]

I bend down in the cool-smelling grass and select a blade. It is smooth and soft; the evening light creates shadows upon it. It feels clean to the touch. “Come here.” I pleasantly demand, straightening up.

He obeys with the delicately disinterested enjoyment of a youngest child. Not that he is my younger sibling; just that he has several older ones and knows how these things tend to work out. I tuck the little green slip behind his ear with deft fingers. “You are the Grass Prince and I’m the Flower Queen.” I speak solemnly, a mental image of the Bridge to Terabithia popping into my head as I do so. “And in some convoluted way, we are half-cousins.” We’ll never be half-cousins, I think to myself. We’ll never even be cousins.

He assents with a nod, as youngest sons tend to do.

We continue on our walk through the cool and unearthly forest, holding each other’s dreams like lovers hold hands.

His own fingertips trail over the blade I tucked behind his ear; he touches it respectfully, acceptingly. I love the way he plays along with whatever tale I weave.

No more words are spoken between us; all we share now is the sensory experience of grass tickling our bare ankles and the damp air that makes our skin tingle as if being kissed. We aren’t conscious of the romantic when we’re together, all that matters in those moments is each other’s presence, so vocal in companionable silence as to make the very idea of speech overwhelming at best and revolting at worst. Spells like these, originating from the earth, are not meant to be broken with meager, spineless words.

When at last we wander home again, words still have no bearing. Not after what we’ve seen and smelt and touched. It would be a sin to break the timeless quiet with anything greater than a whisper of my sweater against his coat, the padding of our bare feet on my patio, the sigh of contentedness that escapes from his lips. As we embrace goodnight, he whispers, “I’m so glad…” but deliberately does not finish his fervent ideals. We have both tried so many times to understand each other’s view of paradise and failed, that explaining anymore would only serve to damage the peace we have salvaged.

I don’t mind. His secrets would lose their quality if uttered aloud- especially to fall on such heathen ears as mine. Though his heart sings within him louder than the greatest belfry’s serenade, I cannot reach inside to listen. It’s better this way.

“Me too.” I whisper back, clasping him warmly against my healthy figure. His slender arms wrap affectionately around me and do not let go. I smile into his coat, basking in the glow of his love for the whole earth and everything in it. I want to remember this moment forever. It lifts me, his love buoys me, reminding me of hope. Hugging him is the hardest part of “us.” It always reminds me with a tiny stab of intense pain how much I love him and yet how much I am not in love with him. We hold each other and this is it. This is where I always give in. Why I always cave. I give in and give us another go. But not tonight. Even though holding each other feels like the most natural thing in the world, I know that the morning will come too soon and I will be back to my true self again. I can’t inhabit fairy-land forever. But it is always a wonderful trip. A trip I wouldn’t take with anybody else.

“Thank you.” I speak into the beautiful stillness, gently letting go. He holds on for another moment, prying another smile from my storehouse. I step back slightly, and run my hands down his shoulders to his wrists and let go, my hands dropping away. I turn, to hide myself from his emotions written so plainly on his face, and fiddle with the lock on the back door.

Once inside, I make a quiet fuss over getting him warm before I send him out into the night. He shrugs; says he isn’t cold. I give him “the look.” His skin is cold; I can feel it when I touch him. He sighs and gives in with that little smile, pulling on his black socks and plain shoes. We sit and talk about the random things we’re good at talking about.

It’s gotten dark outside and I walk him to his car. I wrap my arms around myself and hop from one cold, bare foot to the other.

He opens the driver’s door and gives me “the eyebrow.” I grin, but my breath hitches. My chest aches so bad that I wonder if I’ll finally have a heart attack. It would be a relief. I love him so much yet it’s all wrong; every time I see him it gets worse.

He hops in, but sticks his head out and calls, “Take it easy.” I hear: I’m still not over you.

I smile blithely and wave, in that way that I’m so good at when my ribs are breaking and my internal organs are being crushed. “You too!” I laugh gaily. I mean: Dear friend, I’m so sorry.

The streetlight flickers, he slams the door and faces the ignition, and I run back to the safety of the lit house and the door that will shut firmly between us.

ESTPs and INFJs

Divergent: Book Review

About Me

February Air

This is me: Slogging and slugging through a marsh of unrealized potential futures.  I am in a spot of pushing myself through a stage of growth that is almost completely unrelated to my aspirations for the future.  I have to wait, keep calm, and find something within all of this that is meaningful.  There must [...]

This is me: Slogging and slugging through a marsh of unrealized potential futures.  I am in a spot of pushing myself through a stage of growth that is almost completely unrelated to my aspirations for the future.  I have to wait, keep calm, and find something within all of this that is meaningful.  There must be something I can respect out there.  There must be something I can sink my teeth into.  Please, World.  No more mediocrity.  I don’t think I can stomach it.  I’m waiting in the wings, waiting to play my part.  The moral of this is that I must learn to enjoy the anticipation of the wings.  Sometime in the future I will be on that stage.  I will be starring in my own show.  Not just a hapless player, but the writer, the director, the mind behind it all.  I know I am not ready to take my place yet… But this waiting.  It’s killing me.

I’m so full of ideas.  I write them down and when I look back at it, I realize that I could not get more than a fraction fleshed out of my head and onto the paper.  There is so much it is overwhelming.  Someday I will be able to control it and remembering every last detail, finish a book.  There are so many, dying to be written.  They haunt me in my dreams, keep me up to all hours nagging me and pestering, and make me positively ill in my longing to bring them to fruition.  I just want to give them life!

abigail schwaig

This Year-The Year

Last Fall I mentioned I couldn’t stand watering down my written works to please people and make the cut.  I struggled trying to fit into a mold.  Well, I threw my energies and efforts and very marrow into my writing.  It worked out.  Last year was the third hardest year of living so far; but [...]

Last Fall I mentioned I couldn’t stand watering down my written works to please people and make the cut.  I struggled trying to fit into a mold.  Well, I threw my energies and efforts and very marrow into my writing.  It worked out.  Last year was the third hardest year of living so far; but what is so surreal is that it all ended on an incredibly high note.

I realized some very important things about the essence of life, being, and believing.  We sort of figured out some things, Life and me.  She said that I had to do things the typical way.  I finally told her to her face that that wasn’t going to happen.  She was impressed.

I feel like revelations come at odd times throughout our journeys on this perfect little ball flying through space.  I found out that whatever she was waiting for me to do, I had done.  I had taken responsibility for my self, unapologetic and with the first ounce of faith I’ve had in a while.  Life likes guts.  So does God.

I realized in the last couple of months, that I not only possess a unique view of the world that is important for other people to get a glimpse into, but I AM a unique view of the world.  I have learned some profound things.  The life of stress and fear that I lived last year showed me that no matter what you think, people will always surprise you, disappoint you, and inspire you.  No matter who they are, what they believe in, or how they were raised.

But it is also a freeing concept, no?  I don’t hold anyone on a pedestal anymore.  I trust my own judgement more and more about things.  Through realizing that I don’t owe humanity a single blasted thing, I can assure the world no hate from my corner of it.  I’d like so much for the world to be different, but I don’t have to die on a cross to save it.  Little things are, I am convinced, the stuff of life.  Without little steps and little victories, the evil in this world will stay the same, getting bigger and bigger, no matter what we feed it.  Sometimes all I can do is crawl through the trenches, hoping and believing that someday, I will outrun those guns.  Dying a thousand little times a day is what makes it interesting and so full of life.  Dying to myself is enjoyable because it tears the veil between reality and death.  In that in between place, there is nothing so stimulating, so thrilling.  The unimaginable is imagined and the unattainable is somehow on the verge of occurring.  Of course, I would have to expire before I could really get on with it and experience the full meaning of life, but right now, just riding on the waves of anticipation is drug enough for me.

Crawling on your face now leads to scrabbling along on hands and knees later.  And then you start ducking and hurtling yourself along.  Pretty soon you’re sprinting; running full tilt and feeling the glorious raindrops stinging and the sharp air piercing your lungs.  Your legs give way and all of a sudden you collapse, spent and dying for breath.  But then you realize that you’re not in the trenches anymore and the popping guns faded long ago.

I feel like I’m tripping along and soon I will be running at full throttle- and I cannot wait for that to happen!

abigail schwaig

So yeah.  Fall semester over; lessons learned; turned over a new leaf.  AWESOME!  Spring is coming just around the bend.  It is, however, just as finicky as it’s ever been.  I can see it now- Texas weathermen and weather women having nightmares over another hot & moist day-yet again!  Poor meteorologists… promising thousands that tomorrow [...]

So yeah.  Fall semester over; lessons learned; turned over a new leaf.  AWESOME!  Spring is coming just around the bend.  It is, however, just as finicky as it’s ever been.  I can see it now- Texas weathermen and weather women having nightmares over another hot & moist day-yet again!  Poor meteorologists… promising thousands that tomorrow will be better when in reality it is never going to get better, you will always feel the need to bring a towel with you wherever you go, and no matter what the air behaves like a hot, wet, clingy jumpsuit!

That’s it for now- I don’t often just feel good about a day like this, but I do today and that needs no more words to express.

abigail schwaig